ENG
Meat Train - "Flesh Made Man"
2014 / 1cd
Contagion Records
UK
There's a good fucken reason why the godawful Mortician hasn't released an album in a decade, and it's for the same fucken reason that there hasn't been a new Benediction album in well over half a decade. What the fuck is this reason, you ask? The last records these bands put out were fucken terrible, that's what. Why anybody would want to aspire to be like them is a question I don't know want to know the answer to, for some reason Chris Barnes still has a career, there's that too. Anyway, Meat Train describe themselves as a "head on collision between Carcass and Mortician", it'd be closer to the truth to call them a mix between Benediction and Mortician. Where they get the idea from that their music sounds even remotely close to any era of Bill & Jeff's Excellent Retirement Plan is something I'll never know. Nobody ever claimed metalheads were intelligent, and the more I see bands describing themselves, the truer it rings. Holy fucken shit, dudes. Do you know what the fuck would be even closer to the truth? To just call them fucken garbage that you shouldn't listen to, that's a whole lot fucken simpler. Oh please, make it stop already. For fuck's sake, aren't we passed this phase by now? It is about time. I like primitive death metal just as much as the next guy (Incantation is my favorite band, so fuck you!) - but this stuff actually lowers your fucken intelligence. Holy fucken shit, dudes. Shit. This is fucken shitty, not Malaysian slam death shitty, but fucken shitty all the same. I mean, don't get me fucken wrong. I love the "Mortal Massacre" style production, and the fact that you can hear the bass guitar, but that's where the good news ends. There's the usual amount of really, really, really annoying samples from either horror, comedy - or porn movies, and the drum sound almost resembles Fleshgrind on "Destined For Defilement" but Meat Train never even come within proximity of writing something like that, as fucken mediocre and stupid as it was. For Odin's sake, can we move on, finally? There usually is a good fucken reason why nobody takes metal seriously, and this is another shining example of just that. This band can't the fuck decide what it wants to be. The music is mostly simplistic death metal that really chugs like it's 1994, and the singer really, really, really sounds like Johnny Hedlund from Unleashed. It's sort of stomping, groove stuff that really should have died an embarrassing death along with Six Feet Under's "Haunted". "Flesh Made Man" was originally released in 2013, but nobody rightfully paid attention to it then cos frankly it is embarrassing that we still have to put with beyond awful, divebar dwelling, sub-mediocre crap like this. This is just what we needed. More inconsequential, trivial, bottom-feeding drivel by a bunch of well-meaning chaps in England. There are other reasons why England is memorable, and most of them have very fucken little to do with the metal scene. Who puts up with crap like this, and where they do live? So I can come right over, and bash your fucken stupid head in. I question your sanity if you find this shit amusing, cos this is the worst I have heard in a long time. I hope these sad sacks of shit find something productive to do, cos this simply doesn't cut it in this day and age.
www.meat-train.com
www.facebook.com/meattrainband
www.contagionrecords.com
www.facebook.com/contagionrecordsukFlemming Gabin / 2 Szukaj więcej o Meat Train
Co za debiut! Jestem absolutnie zauroczony tym co zaserwowała ta norweska ekipa i absolutnie nie dziwię się, że Dark Descent nie zwlekała z kontraktem. Dotychczasowe doświadczenie muzyków Sover...
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